How to Lie About Your Affair and Get Away With It

The toughest challenge you’re going to face is to come up with excuses for where you’re going when you’re off to have sex with a woman you met online. You also need to come up with an excuse for odd withdrawals from your bank account. After all, you have to fund the affair – pay for monthly online dating site membership fees, hotels, drinks, etc.


I advise against telling ANYONE (even your best, most trustworthy friend) about your affair. Keep it completely to yourself. If you’ve already told someone what you’re doing, tell your wife you’re going out with this person when you go out to hookup. However, you should be aware of certain problems that may arise should you go down this route…

Pay for monthly online dating site membership

Pay for monthly online dating site membership

  • Your friend may turn on you someday and either just rat you out or blackmail you. Don’t think it could happen? BULLSHIT! Even the most trustworthy friends can turn on even a childhood friend.
  • If you tell your spouse you’re out with this friend and she checks up on you, you’re screwed. What happens if this friend is at home and your wife shows up unexpectedly, while you’re not there?

5 Excuses that Work Every Time

I’m going out for a drive. I just need to clear my mind and hit the road. I’ll be back in a few hours, nice and refreshed!”

I’m going to be working late tonight. The boss is making us work some overtime and I’m way behind on my work. No need to make me dinner tonight, I’ll probably just pick something up on the way home.

Working late tonight

Working late tonight

I decided that today is a ‘ME’ day. I’m going to do a little shopping and treat myself to a nice lunch. I’ll see you for dinner this evening.

I’m going to get in a round of golf today. Everyone’s busy so I think I’ll just go play by myself.

The boss wants to take me out for dinner and drinks tonight. I’ll probably be home pretty late.

Lie About Your Affair

Lie About Your Affair

These excuses work well because there’s no way for her to check up on you. For example, the last one, she’s not going to contact your boss. She’d have to be a real cunt to do that. And you’re not telling her you’re going anywhere specific so she could drive by to make sure you’re there. If she asks for specific locations, just tell her that you’re not sure right now where you’re going but will decide once you get in the car. Always have an excuse for every question she asks. If she calls you while you’re out but you never answer, tell her that the reception was lousy.