When and How to Ask for Her IM or Phone Number

As you know, married people are a bit cautious to give out personal information on an online dating site. They’re especially cautious to give out their phone number for obvious reasons. So you have to really build up trust with her in order to get it. That means you shouldn’t ask for her digits in the first email. How would she know to trust you if she’s never spoken to you? Timing is everything. You have to know when and how to ask for her digits. The same can be said for her Instant Messenger account. Married women are cautious to give that out as well because her husband may have access to it.

Do NOT Abuse the Privilege After She Gives You Her Digits/IM

You’re married, she’s married. Therefore, you should respect her space. If she is kind enough to give you her digits/IM, don’t shoot her a text every 5 minutes. You might get her in trouble with her husband. You wouldn’t want her to do that to you, right? When she gives you her digits, she’ll probably tell you when to text and when not to text. Never text her at times she tells you to not text her at. That’s not cool. It doesn’t matter how important the text is or how horny you are. If it’s during a time where she stressed not to text her, don’t do it or you’re a jackass.

Timing is Key

Finding the right time to ask for digits is a bit tricky. On one hand, you need to build up some trust before she’ll give out her number. On the other hand, you can’t wait forever or she’ll find someone else. Women like men that are aggressive, but they won’t be open to their offerings if they don’t trust him. So you must find the right timing.

I never ask for a phone number on the first email. I wait for her response. Then I send her another friendly email, explaining that I find her interesting and would love to chat with her on IM. I don’t go straight for the digits. Married women feel more comfortable chatting with a man first over IM. After about a half hour or 45 minutes, assuming the conversation is going well, then I smoothly ask for her digits. Let’s take a look at an example of an IM conversation where I worked my game and was able to make her feel comfortable enough to give me her digits…

(Please Note: This transcript is mid-conversation. I had already built up a rapport with her over about a 35 minute period. She had already shown interest in me)

Me: So what are your plans for this weekend?

Her:Probably sitting at home doing absolutely nothing just like every weekend!

Me: Sounds like my life

Her: No big weekend plans either?

Me:I don’t think married people ever have big plans, do they?

Her: You have a point

Me: We could change that…

Her: How so?

Me: I can find a way to ditch the wife if you can find a way to ditch the hubby and then we can go out and have a few drinks

Her:That might work

Me: I tell you what, I need to get off of here right now. Why don’t I give you my cell phone and you can text me when the hubby’s not around and we can make some plans for this weekend…

Her: XXX-XXX-XXXX, text me late tonight when he’s asleep.

I didn’t even ask for her digits, yet I asked for her digits. The ‘ol “I will give you my digits” always gets her to give them to me first. That’s because she felt comfortable knowing I was willing to give my number out.